Joss Whedon’s The Avengers may or may not be the best superhero movie ever made, but it’s definitely the biggest. Assembled in one movie for our entertainment are the likes of Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, The Hulk, Hawkeye, and Black Widow. Granted I know nothing about those last two and I’m not quite sure what their superpowers are, but they pulled their own weight. For those of you out there on the interwebs who are not sci-fi geeks like myself, The Avengers is a collection of the most bad-assed superheroes the Marvel universe has to offer and I can think of no one better than Joss Whedon to bring these characters together on the big screen. He does it with the same action, humor, and creativity that he gives all his projects. But you don’t have to be a fan of Joss Whedon to love this movie. You may be after you see it though. I don’t know. I’m not a sayer of sooths.

The Avengers team is assembled by Nick Fury (played by the always very Samuel L. Jackson) the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Their mission in this movie is to save the world from an alien attack led by Thor’s evil broseph Loki (Tom Hiddleston). What does S.H.I.E.L.D stand for you ask? It stands for Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division. What importance is that to the movie plot? None whatsoever. I just googled it so you won’t have to. I’m very thoughtful that way. Which is one of my favorite qualities in myself other than my humbleness. But enough about me. Let’s talk more about what I thought about this movie. If you haven’t seen the solo movies for Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and The Hulk well shame on you. You should really see them. Although not a requirement before seeing this movie, they were good stand alone movies and give you insight into the origins of the characters. You can skip The Incredible Hulk though. Two tries and they never got it right. But I digress.

The Avengers was everything I expected it to be. Non-stop action and just the right amount of humor to please any movie fan. Unless that movie fan is not a fan of movies. Robert Downey Jr. once again shines as a brilliant and sarcastic Iron Man. Hell, every cast member from Chris Evans (Captain America) to Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) brings something original and thoughtful to their respective superhero. I also just have to mention that, although she doesn’t have a lot of camera time, Cobie “Scherbatsky” Smulders (“How I Met Your Mother”) kicks ass (literally) as Agent Maria Hill. Finally, before I let you go see this movie, I’d like to mention that they finally got The Hulk/Bruce Banner right in this movie by casted Mark Ruffalo in the role. He plays it with what I like to call under-the-top gusto. Whatever the means. Regardless, The Hulk smash good in this movie.

That’s all I’ve got.  Now go see The Avengers. And after you’ve seen it, go see it again. I’m going to.

Ok just kidding. I have to write more as it is required by law and the powers-that-be.  

For those of you who are not familar with Joss Whedon, I’ll give you a quick edumacation. Joss Whedon’s sci fi brain made up such TV shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, and the tragically short-lived Firefly. Everything he does, according to what it says here, involves out-of-the-box creativity and witty repartee.  

Now back to our reguarly-scheduled review. The Cabin in the Woods is a slasher movie that is not all it appears to be. Well it is. But it isn’t.  It provides us with the cliché group of victims (the jock, the nerd, the stoner, the slut, and the virgin) and then it has a lot of fun with them. We follow our merry band of partiers on a weekend getaway to a secluded cabin in the woods. Once there, fun and debauchery ensue followed shortly thereafter by horror and murder. It is hilarious. Sure there are some scary and gory moments, but there is far more to this movie than cheap thrills and gore.  This is a movie with thought, well-written dialogue, and plot twists throughout. With The Cabin in the Woods, Joss Whedon basically takes the all-to-predictable slasher movie and knocks it on it’s ass. The result is my conclusion from the beginning of this review.

I recognized a few of the cast members from previous Joss Whedon projects (Amy Acker and Fran Kranz) and there were a few more widely known thespians (Chris “Thor” Hemsworth, Bradley “not Thor” Whitford, and Richard Jenkins), but I was not famliar with the rest of the cast. It was actually kind of refreshing to see a movie that wasn’t choke-full of A-list actors.  That said, Joss Whedon’s next movie release (and my next review) will be The Avengers which is choke-full of said A-list actors including the aforementioned Chris “Thor” Hemsworth.

Watch out, Joss Whedon. Hollywood has its sights on you now.

The jest of this movie is that two kids (one Spanglish and one Londonish) are haunted by a faceless goblin not-so-lovingly referred to as Hollowface. There are a couple of shocking twists that were shockingly predicable. At least to me because I am very, very smert.

Normally at this point in my super-fantastic review I’d go into more details about the movie, but I just don’t feel like it with this one. I will tell you that it stars Clive Owen and it runs about an hour and forty minutes long. I will also tell you that it had its moments of creepiness, but for the most part did not impress me. And I’m pretty damn easy to impress. This moving picture show had an independent movie feel at times, but it also felt like an impressively filmed bad TV movie you might see on the Syfy channel. By the way, I love the Syfy channel. Just not the bad TV movies.

Intruders is in limited release and I have serious doubts it will go into wide release. If you want to see it your best bet is to wait a few days until it comes to your local DVD distributorship.

Let’s see…what else? You guys like baseball? I think the Texas Rangers have another pretty good team this year. Maybe this is the year they will win the World Series.  You never know.

That concludes our lesson for today.

Go in peace.

Ti West’s The Innkeepers is a good old-fashioned ghost story. It’s slow-building, well-acted, and (at times) genuinely scary. It was a welcome change from the usual gory predictable slash-fest that has been commonplace in horror movies for the last couple of decades. It also proves that you don’t need a big Hollywood budget to make a great film. Yep…I called it a film. I feel so classy.

The action takes place in the 120 year old Yankee Pedlar Inn which two hotel employees (and amateur ghost hunters) plan to prove is haunted on the last weekend before the hotel shuts its doors for good. Sara Paxton and Pat Healy play Claire and Luke, said hotel employees, with casual under-the-top gusto. I should also mention that Kelly “Top Gun” McGillis is quite believable as grumpy former actress-turned-psychic Leanne Rease-Jones. However, the most believable thing about The Innkeepers is the Inn itself. It has that same nothing-good-is-going-to-happen-here atmosphere of  The Stanley Hotel from Stanley Kubrick’s classic horror movie The Shining. The difference here is that The Shining was not actually filmed in The Stanley Hotel whereas The Innkeepers was filmed in the very real and rumored haunted Yankee Pedlar Inn. So take that, ghosts!

The sad thing about movies (I no longer feel classy) like this one is that they don’t usually last long in theatres. Most movies and TV shows these days are aimed at an audience with a short attention span and the really good ones don’t stick around if the box office numbers or ratings are low. Mind you, that’s not a shot at the intellectually impaired. It’s more of a shot at movie studio and TV network executives who have given up on quality in favor of idiocracy.

I’ll get down off my soapbox and leave you with this question: what is a soapbox exactly and how did I get up here?

It is a scientific fact that I enjoy the occasion movie. It has also been widely publicized that I will partake of a sci-fi flick from time to time. So it should come as no surprise to me that decided to go see Disney’s John Carter. I even chose to see it in 3D which I normally avoid because I believe 3D is just a fad like hula hoops and the internet. Although the movie trailer lowered my expectations of the film, I was completely engrossed from the very first scene. Ok…maybe not the very first scene, but definitely shortly thereafter.

John Carter is based on the first three stories of the “Barsoom Series” which began with a novel called “A Princess of Mars” written by Edgar Rice Burroughs nearly 100 years ago.  It follows a Civil War vet from Virginia named John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) who is  mysteriously transported to Mars (aka Barsoom) where he is taken prisoner by 12-foot tall multi-armed green Martians known as the Tharks and is soon thrown into the middle of a civil war between two factions of the red Martians. Along the way he meets and falls for the red Martian Princess of Helium, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Oh also John has superhuman strength and can jump really really high due to the gravity on Mars. So that’s cool.

JCM is a big budget action-packed sci-fi adventure that reminds me of the original Star Wars trilogy. It’s chock-full of amazing special effects and, for the first time, I thought the post-production 3D conversion wasn’t too shabby. If you have kids I think it would be ok to take them to see this one. Other than a little blue Martian blood the violence is not gory or over the top. The only thing I really disliked about this movie was the lady behind me who insisted on adding commentary. To you, chatty Lady, I say no ma’am!

Billy Crystal is back hosting the Oscars and all is right with the World. Expect for war, famine, and global warming. But aside from those things all is good.  In years past my Oscar picks have been more heavily based on the predictions of they-who-are-in-the-know rather than the predictions of me-who-are-not. This year I’m trying something new: Fish. Just kidding. I’ll never try fish. But I will try to provide you with my heart-felt choose makes for the 2012 Academy Award Oscar Presentation USA.

Best Picture
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“The Help”
“Moneyball”
“War Horse”
“The Tree of Life”

This would have been a tough category for me. There were a  lot of great movies last year with Hugo and The Descendants being my favorites. But then I saw The Artist.  Sorry, everyone else.

Best Actor
Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

Dear George Clooney,  It’s just too hard to compete with a French dude who doesn’t talk.

Best Actress
Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

Who are we kidding? She always wins. I didn’t even see this movie.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max Von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

Old = Win.  Sorry, Max Von Sydow. Chris has you by a few months.

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

She may not win, but she definitely should.

Best Director
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

He talks funny, but the man can direct.

Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
JC Chandor, “Margin Call”
Asghar Farhadi, “A Separation”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, “Bridesmaids”

He writes good too.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxton, Jim Rash, “The Descendants”
John Logan, “Hugo”
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, “The Ides of March”
Aaron Sorkin, Steven Zaillian, “Moneyball”
Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughn, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

I loved this story. Good luck, Wolverine!

Best Animated Feature
“A Cat In Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Kung Fu Panda 2″
“Puss in Boots”
“Rango”

Because I didn’t see Puss in Boots.

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Bullhead (Belgium)
Footnote (Israel)
In Darkness (Poland)
Monsieur Lazhar (Canada)
A Separation (Iran)

Your guess is as good as mine.

Original Score
“The Adventures of Tintin,” John Williams
“The Artist,” Ludovic Bource
“Hugo,” Howard Shore
“Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” Alberto Iglesias
“War Horse,” John Williams

Beautiful movie. Beautiful music.

Best Original Song
“Man or Muppet,” The Muppets; Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
“Real in Rio,” Rio; Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Giggle.

Best Achievement in Art Direction
“The Artist”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“War Horse”

This movie can’t be stopped.

Best Achievement in Cinematography
“The Artist”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“The Tree of Life”
“War Horse”

Pretty movie too.

Best Achievement in Costume Design
“Anonymous”
“The Artist”
“Hugo”
“Jane Eyre”
“W.E.”

Sure why not.

Best Documentary Feature
“Hell and Back Again”
“If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front”
“Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory”
“Pina”
“Undefeated”

What the hell.

Best Documentary Short Subject
“The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement?”
“God Is the Bigger Elvis”
“Incident in New Baghdad”
“Saving Face”
“The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom”

‘Elvis‘ is in the title. Need I say more? 

Best Achievement in Film Editing
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”

I can’t think of anything to say here.

Best Achievement in Makeup
“Albert Nobbs”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“The Iron Lady”

Lady looks like a dude.

Best Animated Short Film
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

La Luna? Don’t mind if I do.

Best Live Action Short Film
“Pentecost”
“Raju”
“The Shore”
“Time Freak”
“Tuba Atlantic”

I threw a dart.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
“Drive”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

Because this movie needs to win something if just for the fact that it kicked so much ass.

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

It was very loud.

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“Hugo”
“Real Steel”
“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”

If Andy Serkis is not going to receive any props for his amazing work then at least the movie he was in should. Also, the movie was awesome.

Sorry. Drifted off there for a second.

Nate’s new LP releases to the masses (and the missuses) on February 14^th. That’s Valentine’s Day if you’re keeping score. What sets this and his self-titled debut album a part from so many other country records out there these days is the fact that it’s actual country music. Unlike much of today’s country, there’s not an overly-produced pop tune or 80’s hair band power ballad in this bunch. Not that there’s anything wrong with country pop and power ballads. That’s just not my cup of tea. I’m a coffee man myself. The Holding Pattern is good old-fashioned beer-drinking, two-stepping, steel guitar-playing honky tonk musical greatness. Am I a little biased because I happen to be friends with Nate? You bet I am.  But even if you don’t know Nate from Adam (whoever Adam is) you’re going to like his album or my name ain’t Jay Likes Movies.

The only problem I have with this collection of original handcrafted songs is that it’s too hard to narrow down the highlights. Every song kicks ass. So rather than go through the entire list and name songs like One for the Road, The Odessa Song, Already Forgotten, That’s Not You, El Paso, Comeback Kid, The Ones I Love, Accident Waiting To Happen, or Too Late To Go Back Home I’ll just highlight one. Frank is the song that every songwriter wishes he or she had written. With its instantly catchy melody and witty tongue-in-cheek lyrics Frank is destined for a shit-ton of airplay. I’m not saying that I think Frank should be your first single, Nate.  But I think Frank should be your first single, Nate. Then again, maybe Frank should be the 2nd of 3rd single. I don’t know. I’m not an astronaunt.

Where can I find this album of which Jay speaks, you may ask? Well sir or ma’am , you can pick yourself up a copy on the interwebs at Lonestar Music dotcom or you can just take yourself and a few friends to one of two CD release shows: 1) at Love And War In Texas Grapevine on Friday February 17th or B) at Adair’s on Friday February 24th.  Nate and band will be performing at both and I’m sure beer will be flowing.  Because you can’t have honky tonk music without beer. Well….you can. But what’s the point.

DISCLAIMER: The Opinions of this reviewer should be accepted blindly as fact.

 They heard we missed them so they’re back! Van Halen (the ‘they’ of which I speak) went out and recorded their first album with “Diamond” David Lee Roth in almost 30 years and it is awesome. In fact, dare I say it’s the best Van Halen album in 30 years. Oh I dare. I dare indeed. “A Different Kind of Truth” sounds like Van Halen. No offense to Sammy Hagar, but you just can’t beat David Lee Roth era Van Halen. Don’t get me wrong, I liked a good portion of the stuff they put out with Sammy, but that was a different band. This is the first real  Van Halen record since “1984” . Some would argue that it’s not really Van Halen since Michael Anthony is no longer in the line-up. I would agree to a certain point. His high harmonies are missed. But Wolfgang Van Halen plays a mean bass. Or at least a good bass. He shows off his chops a little on this new album and, in this Jay’s opinion, he ain’t too shabby. Besides, It’s Eddie’s band. If he wants his son to take up the family business who I am to poo poo that.

And now…the music. In fairness I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed with the first single “Tattoo”. To me it sounded like a Diamond Dave solo effort. I loved the lyrics, but the tune didn’t really move me. I was even a little afraid that maybe all those egos in one recording studio may  have worked against their efforts to put out a good record. But then I listened to the entire album (many songs from which originated from 70’s demos) and all my fears were wiped away like something that wipes away fears. I’ve even come around on “Tattoo”.  Songs like “She’s the Woman”, BBB”Bullethead”, and “China Town” reassured me that all was right in the world of Rock n’ Roll. The 13 songs on “A Different Kind of Truth”  fit right in with the classic Van Halen albums of the 70’s and early 80’s. They pretty much picked up where they left off. Eddie shreds like he always has, Alex pounds his drums as well as ever, and DLR still commands attention with his over-the-top vocal shtick. It could be argued that DLR can’t quite scream like he used to, but he’s pushing 60 for Pete’s sake.  They all are for that matter. Except for Wolfie of course. Speaking of which, how cool is it to be him? He records his very first album and it’s with one of the greatest Rock n’ Roll bands of all time. Not too shabby indeed sir.

Chronicle is Heroes meets Paranormal Activity. For the most part it’s shot from the point of view (and hand-held camcorder) of a troubled-teen who suddenly finds himself and his two friends with superhuman powers.  Let’s not worry our pretty little heads about how they got their powers. The director (Max Landis son of John) doesn’t spend too much time on that subject so we shouldn’t either. Instead he focuses on how these normal teenagers with normal teenage problems deal with sudden telekinetic abilities. “With great power comes great responsibility” is what your typical superhero would conclude. But this is not a typical superhero movie. Andrew (Dane DeHaan), Matt (Alex Russell), and Steve (Michael B. Jordan) bond over their new abilities and the more they use them the more powerful they become. Power can go to your head though. Especially if you’re a teenager with problems.

Although I do recommend Chronicle I might suggest that you see it on the small screen. Unless you are not like me and jumpy camera work makes your stomach feel awesome. The beginning of the movie was difficult for my poor hot dog-filled stomach to bear. Thankfully, after about 15 minutes or so the camera (and my stomach) stopped spinning. If you can get past that then you’ll find yourself sucked in to a really entertaining movie. Also there’s a very cool scene where our three heroes toss around the football while about 10 or 15 thousand feet in the air.  Who says Superman has the market cornered on flying?

Anywho…

The special effects are nicely done and give the movie a real feel. But what I liked best about this movie is how it took the big budget superhero movie genre and gave it a fresh point of view. Not that I’ll care about that when The Avengers and Man of Steel come to my local movie house. 

That is all. Go in peace.

The movie is not completely silent. Besides the accompanying music that any self-respecting silent movie should have, Michel Hazanavicius uses sound in a couple key scenes that take the movie from smart to genius. Who woulda thunk that a black & white silent movie in the age of Technicolor-CGI-3D-Over-The-Top-Vision could make such an impact on this Jay’s movie heart? But it sure the hell did. I found it quite brilliant actually. I loved everything about this movie. Jean Dujardin’s facial expressions spoke better than actual words and his character’s dog (played by Uggie the dog) deserves an Oscar for best supporting actor. I’m not kidding. That dog has skills. Maybe fleas too, but definitely skills.

If you see only one silent movie this year make it The Artist. We know that Jay likes movies. This one is why.