Billy Crystal is back hosting the Oscars and all is right with the World. Expect for war, famine, and global warming. But aside from those things all is good.  In years past my Oscar picks have been more heavily based on the predictions of they-who-are-in-the-know rather than the predictions of me-who-are-not. This year I’m trying something new: Fish. Just kidding. I’ll never try fish. But I will try to provide you with my heart-felt choose makes for the 2012 Academy Award Oscar Presentation USA.

Best Picture
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“The Help”
“Moneyball”
“War Horse”
“The Tree of Life”

This would have been a tough category for me. There were a  lot of great movies last year with Hugo and The Descendants being my favorites. But then I saw The Artist.  Sorry, everyone else.

Best Actor
Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

Dear George Clooney,  It’s just too hard to compete with a French dude who doesn’t talk.

Best Actress
Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

Who are we kidding? She always wins. I didn’t even see this movie.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max Von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

Old = Win.  Sorry, Max Von Sydow. Chris has you by a few months.

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

She may not win, but she definitely should.

Best Director
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

He talks funny, but the man can direct.

Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
JC Chandor, “Margin Call”
Asghar Farhadi, “A Separation”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, “Bridesmaids”

He writes good too.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxton, Jim Rash, “The Descendants”
John Logan, “Hugo”
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, “The Ides of March”
Aaron Sorkin, Steven Zaillian, “Moneyball”
Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughn, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

I loved this story. Good luck, Wolverine!

Best Animated Feature
“A Cat In Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Kung Fu Panda 2″
“Puss in Boots”
“Rango”

Because I didn’t see Puss in Boots.

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Bullhead (Belgium)
Footnote (Israel)
In Darkness (Poland)
Monsieur Lazhar (Canada)
A Separation (Iran)

Your guess is as good as mine.

Original Score
“The Adventures of Tintin,” John Williams
“The Artist,” Ludovic Bource
“Hugo,” Howard Shore
“Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” Alberto Iglesias
“War Horse,” John Williams

Beautiful movie. Beautiful music.

Best Original Song
“Man or Muppet,” The Muppets; Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
“Real in Rio,” Rio; Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Giggle.

Best Achievement in Art Direction
“The Artist”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“War Horse”

This movie can’t be stopped.

Best Achievement in Cinematography
“The Artist”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“The Tree of Life”
“War Horse”

Pretty movie too.

Best Achievement in Costume Design
“Anonymous”
“The Artist”
“Hugo”
“Jane Eyre”
“W.E.”

Sure why not.

Best Documentary Feature
“Hell and Back Again”
“If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front”
“Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory”
“Pina”
“Undefeated”

What the hell.

Best Documentary Short Subject
“The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement?”
“God Is the Bigger Elvis”
“Incident in New Baghdad”
“Saving Face”
“The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom”

‘Elvis‘ is in the title. Need I say more? 

Best Achievement in Film Editing
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”

I can’t think of anything to say here.

Best Achievement in Makeup
“Albert Nobbs”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“The Iron Lady”

Lady looks like a dude.

Best Animated Short Film
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

La Luna? Don’t mind if I do.

Best Live Action Short Film
“Pentecost”
“Raju”
“The Shore”
“Time Freak”
“Tuba Atlantic”

I threw a dart.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
“Drive”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

Because this movie needs to win something if just for the fact that it kicked so much ass.

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

It was very loud.

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″
“Hugo”
“Real Steel”
“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”

If Andy Serkis is not going to receive any props for his amazing work then at least the movie he was in should. Also, the movie was awesome.

Sorry. Drifted off there for a second.

Nate’s new LP releases to the masses (and the missuses) on February 14^th. That’s Valentine’s Day if you’re keeping score. What sets this and his self-titled debut album a part from so many other country records out there these days is the fact that it’s actual country music. Unlike much of today’s country, there’s not an overly-produced pop tune or 80’s hair band power ballad in this bunch. Not that there’s anything wrong with country pop and power ballads. That’s just not my cup of tea. I’m a coffee man myself. The Holding Pattern is good old-fashioned beer-drinking, two-stepping, steel guitar-playing honky tonk musical greatness. Am I a little biased because I happen to be friends with Nate? You bet I am.  But even if you don’t know Nate from Adam (whoever Adam is) you’re going to like his album or my name ain’t Jay Likes Movies.

The only problem I have with this collection of original handcrafted songs is that it’s too hard to narrow down the highlights. Every song kicks ass. So rather than go through the entire list and name songs like One for the Road, The Odessa Song, Already Forgotten, That’s Not You, El Paso, Comeback Kid, The Ones I Love, Accident Waiting To Happen, or Too Late To Go Back Home I’ll just highlight one. Frank is the song that every songwriter wishes he or she had written. With its instantly catchy melody and witty tongue-in-cheek lyrics Frank is destined for a shit-ton of airplay. I’m not saying that I think Frank should be your first single, Nate.  But I think Frank should be your first single, Nate. Then again, maybe Frank should be the 2nd of 3rd single. I don’t know. I’m not an astronaunt.

Where can I find this album of which Jay speaks, you may ask? Well sir or ma’am , you can pick yourself up a copy on the interwebs at Lonestar Music dotcom or you can just take yourself and a few friends to one of two CD release shows: 1) at Love And War In Texas Grapevine on Friday February 17th or B) at Adair’s on Friday February 24th.  Nate and band will be performing at both and I’m sure beer will be flowing.  Because you can’t have honky tonk music without beer. Well….you can. But what’s the point.

DISCLAIMER: The Opinions of this reviewer should be accepted blindly as fact.

 They heard we missed them so they’re back! Van Halen (the ‘they’ of which I speak) went out and recorded their first album with “Diamond” David Lee Roth in almost 30 years and it is awesome. In fact, dare I say it’s the best Van Halen album in 30 years. Oh I dare. I dare indeed. “A Different Kind of Truth” sounds like Van Halen. No offense to Sammy Hagar, but you just can’t beat David Lee Roth era Van Halen. Don’t get me wrong, I liked a good portion of the stuff they put out with Sammy, but that was a different band. This is the first real  Van Halen record since “1984” . Some would argue that it’s not really Van Halen since Michael Anthony is no longer in the line-up. I would agree to a certain point. His high harmonies are missed. But Wolfgang Van Halen plays a mean bass. Or at least a good bass. He shows off his chops a little on this new album and, in this Jay’s opinion, he ain’t too shabby. Besides, It’s Eddie’s band. If he wants his son to take up the family business who I am to poo poo that.

And now…the music. In fairness I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed with the first single “Tattoo”. To me it sounded like a Diamond Dave solo effort. I loved the lyrics, but the tune didn’t really move me. I was even a little afraid that maybe all those egos in one recording studio may  have worked against their efforts to put out a good record. But then I listened to the entire album (many songs from which originated from 70’s demos) and all my fears were wiped away like something that wipes away fears. I’ve even come around on “Tattoo”.  Songs like “She’s the Woman”, BBB”Bullethead”, and “China Town” reassured me that all was right in the world of Rock n’ Roll. The 13 songs on “A Different Kind of Truth”  fit right in with the classic Van Halen albums of the 70’s and early 80’s. They pretty much picked up where they left off. Eddie shreds like he always has, Alex pounds his drums as well as ever, and DLR still commands attention with his over-the-top vocal shtick. It could be argued that DLR can’t quite scream like he used to, but he’s pushing 60 for Pete’s sake.  They all are for that matter. Except for Wolfie of course. Speaking of which, how cool is it to be him? He records his very first album and it’s with one of the greatest Rock n’ Roll bands of all time. Not too shabby indeed sir.

Chronicle is Heroes meets Paranormal Activity. For the most part it’s shot from the point of view (and hand-held camcorder) of a troubled-teen who suddenly finds himself and his two friends with superhuman powers.  Let’s not worry our pretty little heads about how they got their powers. The director (Max Landis son of John) doesn’t spend too much time on that subject so we shouldn’t either. Instead he focuses on how these normal teenagers with normal teenage problems deal with sudden telekinetic abilities. “With great power comes great responsibility” is what your typical superhero would conclude. But this is not a typical superhero movie. Andrew (Dane DeHaan), Matt (Alex Russell), and Steve (Michael B. Jordan) bond over their new abilities and the more they use them the more powerful they become. Power can go to your head though. Especially if you’re a teenager with problems.

Although I do recommend Chronicle I might suggest that you see it on the small screen. Unless you are not like me and jumpy camera work makes your stomach feel awesome. The beginning of the movie was difficult for my poor hot dog-filled stomach to bear. Thankfully, after about 15 minutes or so the camera (and my stomach) stopped spinning. If you can get past that then you’ll find yourself sucked in to a really entertaining movie. Also there’s a very cool scene where our three heroes toss around the football while about 10 or 15 thousand feet in the air.  Who says Superman has the market cornered on flying?

Anywho…

The special effects are nicely done and give the movie a real feel. But what I liked best about this movie is how it took the big budget superhero movie genre and gave it a fresh point of view. Not that I’ll care about that when The Avengers and Man of Steel come to my local movie house. 

That is all. Go in peace.

The movie is not completely silent. Besides the accompanying music that any self-respecting silent movie should have, Michel Hazanavicius uses sound in a couple key scenes that take the movie from smart to genius. Who woulda thunk that a black & white silent movie in the age of Technicolor-CGI-3D-Over-The-Top-Vision could make such an impact on this Jay’s movie heart? But it sure the hell did. I found it quite brilliant actually. I loved everything about this movie. Jean Dujardin’s facial expressions spoke better than actual words and his character’s dog (played by Uggie the dog) deserves an Oscar for best supporting actor. I’m not kidding. That dog has skills. Maybe fleas too, but definitely skills.

If you see only one silent movie this year make it The Artist. We know that Jay likes movies. This one is why.

What can I say about Martin Scorsese’s Hugo that I haven’t already said? Well, considering that I haven’t said anything yet, a lot. Are you even paying attention? Good. Set in the 1930′s Hugo is as thoughtful as it is three dimensional. Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is a 12-year-old orphan who lives in the walls of a Paris train station. He passes his time by fixing clocks and tinkering with a robot-y looking thing called an automaton.  The automaton and a notebook containing notes on the machine’s design are his only remaining ties to his father and the key to a mystery that unfolds within the story.  While attempting to steal parts for the automaton Hugo crosses paths with toy store owner Georges Méliès (Sir Ben Kingsley). Georges catches him in the act and takes the journal threatening to destroy it. Hugo is befriended by George’s goddaughter Isabelle (the kick ass Chloë Grace Moretz) when he attempts to get back the notebook.  Together they solve the mystery and, let me tell you, it’s a cool one.

 I won’t reveal more about Hugo other than to say that it is a movie-lovers movie.  It entertains thoroughly and teaches an important lesson. I would be remiss (or maybe just miss) if I didn’t mention the scene-stealing performance of Sacha Baron Cohen. His comedic portrayal of the bumbling station inspector in pursuit of pesky orphan Hugo is second only to Inspector Clouseau himself Peter Sellers.  He’s Clouseau with depth.

Come award season Hugo is going to fair well and deservably so.  It was one of the best movies of 2011.  Hell….it may have been the best movie of 2011.  I’m not saying. Just see this movie and see it in 3D if you can. With so many unnessacary 3D movies out these days its refreshing to see one that compliments the process so perfectly.

I really had no desire to go see Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol , but enough friends and family suggested it that I had to go. I am so glad I did. It was hands down the best in the series. Tom Cruise kicked usual ass as Ethan Hunt. As did Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, and Paula Patton as his partners in crime-fighting. Like always Ethan finds himself in deep do-do and must figure out a way to get out of his predicament before very bad things happen. This time around the bad thing involves a crazy Russian nuclear strategist / terrorist (AKA Kurt Hendricks) who is planning to gain launch codes to strike the US of A. Unfortuanately when Ethan and team attempt to track him down at the Kremlin, Hendricks (also AKA ‘Cobalt’) blows it up and blames Ethan. This results in the President having to invoke Ghost Protocol, under which the IMF is disemboweled. Or is that disavowed? At any rate, Ethan and team have to chase Hendricks across Dubai and Mumbai with no back up and very little time to save the World.

This movie starts off with a bang and doesn’t let up until the very end. It’s two hours and thirteen minutes and pure entertainment. If you love a movie where you don’t have to think and can just sit back and enjoy then this movie is for you. I wouldn’t worry too much if you haven’t seen the other three movies. There aren’t a lot of references to them so you’re good. A good friend of mine made the comment that the folks behind the Mission: Impossible franchise have the formula down. I couldn’t agree more. No complex story lines needed here. Just stick to kicking ass and blowing shit up and this franchise can go on forever. Or at least until they get tired of making them.

With consideration for those who may be faint-ish of heart I should mention that there are a couple of graphic rape scenes, hints of incestuous behavior, and Nazis. But get past all that and what you have is a great damn movie with lots of action, suspense, and tattoos.

On a side note, the opening credits were cool in this Jay’s opinion.  Trent Rezner (who also scored the movie) and Karen O (vocalist for New York rock band Yeah Yeah Yeahs) provided an edgy version of Led Zepplin’s “Immigrant Song” behind some funky abstract imagery reminiscent of a James Bond movie. Coincidence? Don’t mind if I do.

Anyways…for a two and a half hour plus movie The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo moved fairly quickly. I was sucked in from the aforementioned opening credits and stayed glued to the screen to the very end. This is the first film in the trilogy and I look forward to seeing the next two with great look forward-to-ness. In fact, I may even skip the waiting and read the books. Or I may skip reading the books and watch the next two Swedish movie versions. Or I may skip the next two Swedish movie versions and wait for the next two American movie versions. I really can’t say for sure. I’m not an astrophysicist.

-Socrates

 Immortals is a big, actiony guy movie full of blood and  testosterone. But it’s a guy movie with a heart. Nah….it’s just a guy movie. It is really fun though. It’s a perfect escape from the all too real world of reality. The movie stars Henry Cavill as Theseus; a courageous  pheasant who is humanity’s only hope against the evil King Hyperion (the always badass Mickey Rourke). Why is Theseus mankind’s last hope? I’m glad I asked. It’s because the greek gods (Zeus and his posse) are not allowed to interfere because of some law they made up. It occurred to me that it’s kind of silly that they can not change the law since they are the gods after all. But I digress. Anywho…King H has put together an army of bloodthirsty soldiers and mounted a search for the mythical Epirus Bow. If he gets his hands on the bow he will be able to release the imprisoned Titans, destroy humanity, and (very special bonus) rid the world of those pesky gods once and for all.  That’s about all you really need to know about the plot since it’s really kind of secondary to the action anyway.

On a side note, the sci-fi geek in me should point out that Henry Cavill will be starring as another last hope for humanity in 2013 when Zack Snyder‘s Superman reboot Man of Steel comes out. If his performance in Immortals is any indication, I think the right choice was made. By the way, Immortals is also playing in 3D, but I would recommend seeing it in regular D. The movie was post-converted which, to me, is not worth the extra cash. Although, when the 3D-converted Phantom Menace comes out early next year you can bet your sweet wookie I’ll pay the extra for that. Sorry, I geeked again.

“What is it that makes the women in my life destroy themselves? ”

The Descendants is a movie. This we know. It’s about Hawaiian land baron and father Matt King (George Clooney) who must step up and be a better dad after his wife has an accident that results in a coma. Her coma not his. Anywho…in addition to his struggle to connect with his kids he is struggling with an array of feelings about his wife after learning she was having an affair. The Descendants was one of the best movies I saw in 2011. And I saw a lot of movies in 2011. I always forget how great an actor George Clooney is until I watch a George Clooney movie. He sinks his teeth into a role and effortlessly brings humor and humility to the characters he plays. In this Jay’s opinion he could hold his own along side of  Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart any day. If they were alive that is. His children are played outstandingly by Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller.  The people who decide which movies they want us to see (you know who you are whoever you are) are nominating Shailene Woodley and George Clooney for all sorts of awards for their standout performances. I agree with their accolades. I also like the word “accolades”. It’s pretty.

But enough about the performances in this movie film. The Descendants is  just a good flick. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it will become a part of you. Ok….maybe not so much that last part. When you go see the movie, and Jay recommends you do, keep an eye out for the scene where Matt runs down the street in his boat shoes to a family friend’s house. I don’t know what is is about a middle-aged man running flat-footed down the street that’s so entertaining. But when George Clooney does it I can’t help but laugh. Come to think of it when I do it my wife can’t help but laugh. Coincidence?